Keeping the girls united...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

A series of heartbreaks have recently ransacked the hearts of some of my nearest and dearest and so I have made the noble decision to use the blog as a tool to help them expel their heartbreak. Stangely enough this decision was encouraged by the fact all the recent turmoil has been wreaked by dentist. If you would refer to a previous entry you might understand that this is not a suprising occurance. And so without further ado...

An interview:

Me: So...judging from the melting puddles of ice cream and the multiple copies of beaches, Id say that something is amiss (translation: who forgot to replace the kleenex and ignored my desperate cries for backup)
Roomie1: Im fine. I just like to cry for no reason, ive always been this way. Also my life is over.
Roomie2: Here are the Top ten reasons why i hate dentists and wont go out with Him again
Roomie1: (bursts into tears at the mention of the D word)
Roomie2: a) he's a fidgeter ----- I know I have a problem with this myself but nothing in comparison to him. He wins . (Note: sometimes winning isnt good)
b) he's not cute and has no personality to make him "appear" cute to me so he gets an overall cute factor of nothing (Note to our male readers -- cute factors are intricate mathematical calculations and nothing is a bad score)
c) he can't handle his drinks...I felt like even grape juice had the potential to drive him over the edge . ( Note: This crime can be akindeled to a mustachioed woman)
d) He loves dentistry....a little too much (Note: none needed, im sure we are all conjuring images of a man in a desperate embrace with a shiny drill and some laughing gas)
e) He doesn't have a cell phone . (Note: A boyfriend that cant be phoned at three am from an over-loud party to hear the love of his life giggle and stumble off to throw up -- is no boyfriend at all.)
me: I'll need to interrupt this interview to prevent this entry from becoming overly-long and basically pathetic wherein its appearance indicates that i never work and have way too much time on my hands, an incorrect assumption i might add. SO ladies, any final thoughts.
roomie1: Can I call him?

---praying against hope that my roommates understand this is a serious dramatization of actual events and by no means should this affect my ability to gain entrance in the apartment this evening


At 11:26 AM, Blogger AladiN said...

Just happened to get this in an email, very corny but for some reason in rolling on the floor with laughter (I know lay off the alcohol), thought I’d share with u guys:

Man goes to a dentist
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.

To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"


At 12:25 PM, Blogger hotpantsreturns said...

that was painful. really.

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Jude said...

im worried this blog is going to become a forum for corny jokes...


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