Keeping the girls united...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Im Never Flossing Again / The Worst Date of My Life

Girls can be very melodramatic, its always "i ate forty cookies" meaning, i drooled on forty cookies and finally broke down and ate a half or "my butt is trying to take over the tri-state area" meaning well, the half a cookie was a bad idea. But what if, what IF, something truly dramatic happens? How can a self-professed drama mama emphasize the abject horror and residual trauma of the proposed event?

im thinking changing font colors is the way to go.

So anyways i went on The Worse Date of my Life last night. It began relatively innocuously, i was shopping in the city - ie pretending to try on clothes in upscale stores in a valiant effort to avoid the bitter May winds - and I get a call from the current beau:
me: yo.
Be: Hey im downstairs -- beep beep
me: Did i fotget to tell you that i didnt go home and im still in the upper west side..he..he
Be: (Dead Silence)
I should have just turned off my phone right then and called it a night, but instead i allowed the offers of free bleach and plaque rinse ( yes, another dentist) to lure me into his car not unlike the boogyman and his candy from bygone years. Anyways, my first mistake was turning on the radio which was suprisingly permanently stuck on ESPN. As we all well know last night was the NBA playoffs, Miami Heat vs Detroit blah blah.. anyways he immediately abandoned the facade all boys employ on dates so that their prospective mates are fooled by the sophisticated facade and forget, albeit momentarily, that at their core all boys are supreme geeks and he started screaming and banging on the car windows whenever the ball moved a distance of approximately 2.53 inches in either direction. He also put on a special "basketball cap" to ensure that I understood that, yes, the facade has not only been abandoned --- but it apparently is on vacation when he purchases apparel as well.

Well after twenty minutes of interactive radio time "we" decided to find a sports bar to finish watching the game in relative comfort - in other words, his favorite team was winning and and its simply no fun to gloat in a car with no obvious fans of the losing team. In his haste to find a bar though, he didnt realize that he had inadvertently led us into a bar whose main attraction was topless waitresses, i would refer to the inimmitable locale by name but I am trying to clean up my posts. Anyways, "bli neder" he had no idea that this place wasnt the usual variety of sports bar and I believe him. Really I do.

To be continued.....


At 2:28 AM, Blogger chanee said...

waht happened to the free dental treatements? clearly that was the aim of the date, was it not?!

At 10:12 PM, Blogger MimJap said...

lol!!! that was bloody funnny. we all have some pretty horrfic me that wasnt so bad...


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