Keeping the girls united...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A word from our sponsors

Sex sells. And i'll prove it.

This past weekend I found myself homeless in sunny florida with :

a) a barnes and noble bag stuffed with clothes (I used to tote Duane Reade but i'm trying for a classier look)
b) a pair of hot sunglasses (purchased after imbibing way too much alcohol at the airport bar. Alone. Again.)
c) a bad sunless tan - this is actually a heads up to anyone who may corss my path later this week.

Not having any hotel reservations to speak of, I made the fatal decision to follow an old - but not wise - aquaintance to a youth hostel on south beach in an effort to save a few dimes. We arrived at three in the morning and after finding the room* and depositing our cargo, a lone occupant informed us that sleep before five am was impossible. I had noticed a distinct shaking in the floor but worried that the floor was merely responding to the excess weight my body had retained ever since, well, how far back do we want to go? Anyways, it appeared the shaking was the result of a gay club located directly beneath our current abode and that all occupants either drank their way into oblivion or stayed out til six in an effort to get some uninterrupted sleep. I chose option one for obvious reasons and proceeded to pass out on a top bunk.

Sometime the next morning I awoke with a mild hangover and gingerly sat up in bed. Here is some of what went through my mind:

1) Where the hell am I?
2) Why am i looking at someone's ass?
3) Am I taller today? (This is an oft-repeated query)
4) Why am i looking at someone's ass?

To be continued...

* six bunk beds and a few miniature lockers to house what i assume was little dolls and buttons


At 7:38 AM, Blogger Jude said...

im sitting in anticipation for the end of the post..dont do this to me!

At 9:25 PM, Blogger big mak said...

whose ass was that ? one of the gay guys? huh?


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